A Life With No Regrets
by GACR
Summary: Erza's life can be erased anytime. But even with that knowledge Jellal still fell in love with her. A simple expression of emotion can cause grave danger for Erza, whose life depends on a mechanical heart. What if Jellal was the cause of Erza's death? What did Jellal feel the moment Erza died? A sad story with a sad ending. AU/ teen Erza and teen Jellal.


I was always just in the sidelines. I was always just staring. I couldn't even move closer and turn that doorknob. I wondered why it's always closed. Why can't I enter that room. My family owns this apartment. So I should be allowed to enter whichever room I want to enter. But that one was an exception. The only one allowed to ever go inside that room is my mother. When I opened that room it gave my life something more to look forward to. But I never expected it to give me so much pain too. Well what do they say? Curiosity killed the cat. I didn't die. I somewhat wish I just died. So that I can be with the person I love. So that I can be with Erza... Let's turn back to the day everything started.

* * *

When I left my room, my gaze suddenly went to that room. The one room in our hallway that I'm not allowed to enter. I just stared at it. Thinking of things that might possibly be inside. Like a garden or something. What is in that room that made me so interested in it. I saw the doorknob turn and my mother stepped out of the room. She didn't notice me. And she said something that I couldn't hear. Was she talking to someone? Is there a person in that room? Well probably because she's holding a tray of food. It has many leftovers. One thing is for sure, someone was there. From time to time I would notice my mother would bring a tray of food to that room. A sick person that never goes out? I wondered.

After rocking my brain thinking, I took a large breath before sitting up. I decided, I'll see what's inside that room. The room that was kept secret to me for 4 years now. I waited for my mother to leave the apartment before walking in front of that door. I looked left and right to see if somebody was there. Then I turned the doorknob and slightly opened the door. When I fully opened the door I saw the most beautiful thing in the world. A beautiful scarlet. I just stood there. Looking stunned to see what was inside.

Inside was a person. A person who was laying down, asleep. She had many tubes connected to her skin to a machine. The sound of a machine hospital was heard throughout the room. She's beautiful. Her face is like an angel. But the most thing that can be noticed is her hair. Those scarlet hair she has. I walked inside the room, slightly hesitant at first, but when I got closer to her I couldn't control myself and I stroke her hair. She groaned before opening her eyes. Her eyes has red beautiful orbs. Everything about her is beautiful.

"Jellal." was the words she said the moment she woke up. Her voice was soft and really like an angel. But it was also trembling. She was scared. She was afraid.

"How do you know my name?" I stopped my hand from stroking her hair.

"Your mother told me about you. He said you had a tattoo in your right eye, blue sparkling hair and brown eyes. Your name is Jellal Fernandez. Right?" after she said that with a trembling voice she panted. She was desperate for air, just by a few words. Is speaking that hard for her?

"Yeah. I'm Jellal. What's your name? Why are you here? Why do you never leave the room? Why do you have a bunch of tubes connecting to your body?" I couldn't help my questions. There were many things I wanted to ask her.

"I'm here because my parents died in an accident. I survived, but my body is badly damaged. The one who took me in is your mother. The doctor said that I won't survive, even a heart transplant won't help. Then there was this machine. A machine that can replace your heart and continue to pump blood. " she panted as she explained that. She didn't feel afraid of me. Does she feel comfortable around me? After a while she continued "these tubes connect my body to the machine. But it's very weak. I can move but only light movements, I can't express any emotions. If I do, I'll die. I don't have a heart."

What is this? She can't express her emotions? Just something like that can take her life away from her?! I don't know why but I want to help her. I want to support her. I want to be by her side. Even though I just met her.

"What's your name?"

"Erza." I waited for a further answer but that was it. Erza. It was beautiful, but what about her last name?

"Just Erza?" I confirmed

"Yes."

"Then I decided, I'll name you Erza Scarlet! The color of your hair." what am I thinking? Naming somebody? I do hope she'll like it, "Well?"

"Yeah. I like it. Scarlet. From now on I'm Erza Scarlet." she smiled. It was the most beautiful thing I saw. Then just a second after she was panting for air again. More air. It's like she is suffocating. I immidietly looked at her with caring eyes and panicking eyes.

"What's happening?" I asked her. I was a fool to expect an answer. Why would I ask someone who's panting for air?

I panicked, I wanted to find a way to ease her. A few minutes later she calmed down. Still panting for air but it's lighter.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"What happened?" I held her arm. It was warm. Does she have a fever? No, it's just her warmness. Her normal body temperature. I wanted to stay with her, to feel her warmness always.

"I told you. I can't express my feelings." she said. I mentally punched myself for that. I made her happy, which is a reason why she almost died. I'll have to be careful of what I'll do from now on. I looked down. I can't face her.

"Sorry." I murmured.

"It's alright. It always happens anyway."

What did she say? Did she say that she's always on the verge of death?

"Staying emotionless for too long hurts. I wish I could just die."

"No! Don't think about dying!"

"Why not? I don't have somebody who cares about me anyway. Nobody is left to cry at my grave. They're all dead."

I wanted to hug her. I wanted to comfort her badly, and just when I was about t do it I saw the clock. My mother's going to come home.

"Hey, tomorrow, expect to see me okay? I'll go here straight after I come home from school. I promise. Alright, promise me too, that your going to expect me?" I looked at her. I wanted to spend more time with Erza, but I don't have the time to do so. If my mother see me here, she would definitely forbid me for going back here.

"Yeah, I promise."

So I left the room, catching a glimpse at her scarlet red hair.

The next morning after I finished school I ran straight to her room. And there she was, looking at me.

"Hey. You look like you just ran from your school to here." She waved at me. But she wasn't smiling.

"I did do that." I smiled at her "So, how are you feeling?"

"Just usual. But I feel different with you here."

"What?"

"Nothing, idiot Jellal." she pinched my nose. I took a chair, placed it beside her bed and sat down.

I kept visiting her room every time I return from school. I would talk to her, laugh, smile, but she just have a blank look. And it's better for me. Because if she showed her emotion she would being grave danger. It was one of my normal routines now, I would visit her and eventually fall in love with her. I know that I can't fall in love with someone who would die anytime. But I didn't think that. I just kept thinking that one day she would be better. One day she will be able to step out of her room and walk like a normal person. Express her feelings like a normal person can. I live my life like that in hopes of that. Every time I see her, my love grew deeper. But I can't confess. If I confess, she would die. I started to hate the world. How cruel things are. Why is the world so cruel to Erza? Why wouldn't they let her live without worrying about anything? I don't even care if she loves me back or anything. It was better if she doesn't

Sometimes I would just cry. I couldn't act like I love her. She would die. I couldn't make her happy. She would die. I couldn't show my affection to her. She would die. Erza Scarlet, the girl I love will die if I did anything stupid. I kept visiting her for 6 months now. Luckily, I never did anything to put her life in danger. I started wondering if she ever wants me to be by her side anyway. But she never told me to stay away from her so I just continued. My mother didn't know all of this. I was also really thankful of the machine that serves as her heart.

Until one day I visited her room, and my heart skipped a beat. I even dropped my bag. She wasn't there anymore. The machine wasn't there. Erza wasn't there. Her face wasn't there. Her red eyes weren't there. Her beautiful scarlet hair wasn't there. The only thing inside the room was an empty bed. I held a hand to my mouth to suppress the tears that was falling from my eyes. I have to ask. I have to know. I ran straight to my mother's room but she wasn't there. I took my cellphone and called father, he answered.

"What is it?" she asked

"Where's Erza?!" I shouted. This really wasn't the behavior of a child towards his mother. And I didn't even held back the fact that I know Erza. This isn't the time for keeping secrets.

"You know about Erza?" she stopped for a moment before continuing. "She's here with me. In the hospital. Come here if you want."

"What?! What happened?!"

"Just come here."

"Right!" I threw the phone. I didn't even bother where it fell. The only thing in my mind now is Erza. What happened to her? Why is she in the hospital?! I panicked. I ran to the hospital as fast as I could. I didn't let anything disturb me. It was raining at that time, so the ground was slippery. I fell many times. I scratched my knee or elbows many times. But it just didn't matter anymore. Tears were already flowing the moment I left our apartment. There is no way I'm going to lose her! There is no way Erza would die. There's no way!

When I reached the hospital I saw my mother motioning me to enter the room. I stopped to look at the door. I turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door. The same thing I did when I first opened the door to her room in the apartment. When I got inside I saw her. She was her normal self. She's alive. She's fine. It was nothing different from what she looked like in the apartment. I ran to her and hugged her. I tried not to crush her. I completely forgot the fact that I need to be careful of her emotions.

"What happened?" I panted

"I thought about it, Jellal. I don't want to hide my feelings anymore." she whispered to me.

"What? If you express your feeling you'll die."

"But...I can't just let the time pass without you knowing how I feel." she started crying. I panicked. While she was crying, she was panting.

"Stop it. Stop crying you'll kill yourself!" I told her. My chest hurts now.

"Jellal, I" she kept on panting. I need to stop her. I need to stop Erza.

"Stop it!"

"Just let me do this. I don't want to live life full of regrets. I want to say this before I die."

"No...Erza!"

She kept on panting for air. So did I I also kept on panting for air. I was panicking.

"I love you Jellal." she touched my cheeks. My eyes grew bigger. I didn't want her to die. But I want to follow her wish. I want her to have a life with no regrets. I needed to understand what she wants. She wants to express her feelings. So there was only one way we can both express our feelings, and I had to do it. If I didn't do this I'll never have a chance to do it. So I kissed her. A warm kiss. Her lips were warm. Mine was warm too. I closed my eyes, holding in the tears. I know after this she'll be gone. She'll die. I didn't want this. But a part of me was happy. Happy because she showed her true feelings for me.

When our lips parted I said "I love you Erza. I always did. And I always will. I'll never forget you."

"I know that. Idiot. After this, I want you to smile like me." she smiled. She was crying but she smiled. Was she able to express her feelings? I can't let her close her eyes. But before closing her eyes she said "Scarlet and Blue has a nice ring to it"

I couldn't hold back my tears the moment she closed her eyes. I shouted. I cried. I hugged her. She died. She wasn't here anymore. She left me. The person I love left me. I was always afraid this would happen. I always had dreams like this. But, I never expected it would hurt this much in reality.

After a while of crying I walked out of the room, catching a last glimpse of her scarlet hair. I saw my mother. I walked to her and sat beside her.

"I forbid you to go inside that room because I know you would get close to her and end up hurting yourself."

"How did you know that I would get close to her?"

"Your my son. Why wouldn't I know that?"

"Thanks, mom. Because you took her in and gave her life." she just nodded and hugged me.

* * *

Right now I'm lying down on her bed in the apartment. On Erza's bed. I would accept it. I have to accept it. Erza Scarlet isn't here anymore. But she'll always be in my heart forever. I'll always remember that beautiful scarlet hair. That beautiful red orbs. Her beautiful face. Her angelic voice. Sometimes I would just smile and let a tear drop down on my face. Someday I'll see her again. But right now I have to enjoy the life I have. I have to smile. No it's not I have to, but I want to smile. I'll live my life the way she lived her life. A life with no regrets.

* * *

**Yo. How did you find the story? I like sad endings. Reviews are open, Favorite and follows are fine too. **


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